The Loose Canon - A Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster


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Like any other religion that exists in this world, Pastafarianism is also a religious belief with thousands of followers worldwide. More than a religion, it is a social movement that opposes the teaching of creationism in high-schools.

Alto, Michigan • Est. 2015

It all started in when Bobby Henderson, a physics graduate of Oregon State University had enough of the education system of high schools. He sent a letter to the Kansas Board of Education debating the inclusion of intelligent design theories in classes on evolution. He mocked the system by demanding the schools to include the alternative theory that the universe was a creation of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

And as he received no response, he decided to post it online where it spread far and wide. Far enough to actually start a social movement and garner thousands of believers.

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Reviewer notes

What is this Flying Spaghetti Monster you ask? Well, this is a deity, like any other religious deities, that the Pastafarians worship. Flying Spaghetti Monster was initially created as a satire for the teaching of creationism and intelligent design in schools.

Henderson mentioned that since the ID uses ambiguous references to a designer, any conceivable entity may fulfill that role, including Flying Spaghetti Monster. But over the years, FSM has become a real internet phenomenon lately. And people have come up with their own concepts and perceptions of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It is an online church for all the Pastafarians. Apart from that he also wrote the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the official text of the Pastafarians. We all have heard and believe the different versions of how the universe was created.

Pastafarian Religion

And for the Pastafarians, it was the deed of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. According to the believers, the invisible and undetectable deity created the universe after a round of heavy drinking. And I shall simmer this sauce on low for forty days and forty nights then another day allowing it to cool and thicken. Gather basil and paprika and salt and cayenne peppers that we my season the new tastiness of the world to come. This is my promise to you and all who come after you. And Steve had brought into the ship two of every spice and these he did liberally apply to the sauce through the very nice window with curtains that he had built.

And Steve spoke to the Flying Spaghetti Monster saying, In your tastiness the earth has been reborn and, wow, a beer volcano! Chapter 3 INow it came to pass that Penelope had a good beer buzz on STILL hadn't been invented And yea the man thou knowest as Linguini was a sinful man. The FSM looked down upon him and was wrathful, plus he also had a hangover, and verily this did displease the Almighty Noodly One.

One day whilst he was in his kitchen, Linguini was struck with inspiration for a new dish. Never before had he thought of making a Holy dish from scratch. So he tooketh the Holy Ingredients of eggs, flour and semolina, and he did mix them well. When he saw what he had make, he proceedeth to shred it into thin strips.

Thus he made his first pasta. When he had cooked the pasta, he found that its taste was divine, and in that moment he truly knew that he had been inspired by Him. But something felt wrong, as he had not felt that gentle touch of Appendage. Even draping some of his newly-made pasta onto his shoulder did not give him that intense feeling of meatball-flavoured love. The FSM did not see how Linguini suffered, as He was still suffering with His Holy Hangover, and had previously been displeased with Linguini, so was ignoring him for a while.

Linguini spread his recipe to the faithful, and it was soon a favourite with the Holy Meal throughout all the land. Linguini prayed night and day to the FSM that He would touch him and bless his homage to the Holy Meal, yet he was not heard. Linguini lamented this, and soon realised the errors of his previously-sinful ways.


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As weeks led into months, he had still not been touched by Him. Linguini took to wearing the Holy Attire and talking like the Most Holy Pirates, yet still he was not heard. Linguini could not blame Him, as he had been bad before his enlightenment. A year later, the FSM finally stopped sulking. He got up to take some aspirin, and felt much better. At once he saw how Linguini had suffered this past year and felt guilty, yet he was still suspicious of him. He descended to the Earth where he visited Linguini in the form of an old pirate.

Linguini welcomed this stranger into his home and ensured that he wanted for nothing.

Serving nothing but the finest pasta and grog, the FSM in his disguise started to warm to 20 Linguini, when he brought out his biggest surprise; a bowl of his own pasta creation. As the FSM tasted it, he was filled with love for Linguini, as the pasta was truly fit for the finest beer volcano bars. Shedding His disguise, the FSM revealed himself to Linguini and declared that from this day, his pasta would be served in Heaven, and from thenceforth be known as Linguini in honour of its creator.

Linguini trembled at this, and stood in awe of Him. The FSM saw this and extended an appendage toward Linguini, touching him gently. A sudden light appeared, and a host of strippers were revealed carrying barrels of grog into Linguini's house. Much merriment was had that night by all, as the grog rather quickly disappeared, especially after the FSM began singing His favourite sea shanties into the night. Ill got responsibilities. Chapter 2 1 Generations later, due to a series of mishaps, Abe's descendents had not yet made it to the Promised Land. And YoHoHo!


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No more of it, Basta! That's it", cried the cook and began to turn the meat grinder that doubled as a prayer mill coincidentally. Let us prepare proper drinks as companion, for a pirate's throat shall never go dry; and hoarse only when it adds to the atmosphere. Throw it away and serve them hardtack and stale water as befits humble seafarers!

Flying Spaghetti Monster

The captaon ordered it, the Divine Body touched me, so how could I fail? Yeah, let's praise the cook's work but let's not forget that some are still hungry! Chapter 3 1 "That's my cue! What idiot put in that line in here and what does it mean? We don't take passengers and Rio is not on our schedule this month. Check the calendar! It's Yellowbeard's turn.

Be touched by His Noodly Appendage!

Our raid is due for New- Years day! My cutlass is hardtack- sharpened enough to split the mast from top to keel in one go! I don't have to beg forgiveness, for thou knowest me and the reason. I have a task for you and your mates. That's the exact opposite of what I'm trying to get you guys to do! Some fashion o' Monster o' Spaghetti what Flies? Will Oi have to drink only Beer in heaven? Me likes yer style. Ye be me new second mate, if n ye like," Pete offered.

Bob Fearsome Pirate Pete was woken up rather rudely by a Penguin. Where the bloody hell are we anyway?

The Loose Canon - A Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster The Loose Canon - A Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
The Loose Canon - A Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster The Loose Canon - A Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
The Loose Canon - A Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster The Loose Canon - A Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
The Loose Canon - A Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster The Loose Canon - A Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
The Loose Canon - A Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster The Loose Canon - A Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
The Loose Canon - A Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster The Loose Canon - A Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
The Loose Canon - A Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster The Loose Canon - A Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
The Loose Canon - A Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster The Loose Canon - A Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
The Loose Canon - A Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

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